


And Here I Wake (Loving You)

by RowynSN



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, F/F, Polyamory, Recreational Drug Use, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 12:57:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9821459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowynSN/pseuds/RowynSN
Summary: The lies we tell ourselves are always the most deadliest. Pearl and Rose try polygamy despite Pearl not wanting to.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you [Vorazlov28](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2534613/) and [Cazuki](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4259333/) for betaing. :)

Pearl told Rose that it was fine. That she could start dating other people because Pearl knew Rose wanted to. After all, they were going to different colleges, and Pearl knew Rose loved her. They had loved each other for so long that Pearl was sure that no one could come between them. Their love meant more than the occasional one night stand or a couple of dates with whoever she matched with on Tinder. Pearl kept repeating that in her mind as she cuddled Rose, who was texting the same man - Greg - as she had the last time Pearl visited her.

"I've missed you," Pearl said against Rose's shoulder, looking at the screen with her mind scrambling for any other explanation than this person meaning something to Rose. They had been growing distant over the last month, and Pearl couldn't take the idea of someone being more important than her.

Rose sent the message to Greg; it was confirming plans for whenever Pearl left.

Pearl's thoughts were a blight on the perfect relationship she pictured them having. Pearl bit her lip waiting for Rose to reply to her. When she finally did, she put her phone down and turned around with a smile, hand tracing Pearl's hips. The action made Pearl shiver. "I've missed you too." A second passed, then two. Rose leaned in and gave her a kiss. It was soft and sweet. Pearl closed her eyes reveling in the feeling.

This. This was their love. Soft and sweet and as perfect as their kisses. Pearl deepened the kiss, tightening her hold on Rose. They separated a second later, both of them smiling.

Rose eyes still held the same love. That meant that she was still important. That meant that Pearl was still number one. Greg was nothing more than a fling. How could Rose choose anyone but Pearl when she looked at her like that? The look made Pearl's chest tight and her head feel enveloped in mist.

"You still love me right?" Pearl asked, just to make sure. She hated feeling even a little bit of doubt. Pearl felt powerless at times: she did not control the relationship and that meant that their perfect relationship could crumble if Rose chose to let it.

Rose's brows creased, a frown playing on her lips. Then before Pearl could think anything of it, Rose schooled her expression into one more calm and understanding. "Yes, of course I do. Why do you ask?"

Good. Everything was still perfect. Greg wouldn't come between them.

"Nothing. Just making sure. You've been distant and I - I just wanted to make sure."

Rose stared at Pearl, taking her in, gaze scrutinizing. Anxiety reared its head again, but it was fine, she told herself. Rose was just making sure she was okay.

It's funny. This relationship had turned her into an optimist. She would laugh, but she felt desperation claw at her throat.

"We're not monogamous. I've been seeing other people and we don't live close to each other. We both have been busy. It's not you, it's just our situation."

Oh yeah. It's only the situation. Very straightforward and Pearl felt a weight lift from her chest. Pearl could fix the situation. That was easy.

"You're right. It's our situation."

Rose gave her another smile that left her breathless, and they fell asleep in each other's arms, any thought of Greg out of Pearl's mind.

* * *

 

It shouldn't surprise her. But it did. They only grew more distant. No matter how many times Pearl called, no matter how many times Pearl visited. Pearl wanted to live with Rose so that this distance didn't exist. Dropping out of college crossed her mind at least three times, but she knew that Rose would end the relationship then if she did. She stopped vocalizing her thoughts about Rose to her friends. They said she was obsessed, that their relationship was unhealthy. She knew they were right, but she didn't want to think about it. Pearl wanted this relationship to be perfect. Wanted to live in this world that she had created just for them.

Rose was the most important person in her life, even above herself. But even so, Pearl ached.

Pearl had been stupid. Shortsighted. She should have chosen the same college as Rose. Pearl thought that everything would be fine. It was only a city over. It wasn't far at all. It was only for a few years and that had seemed so small in comparison to the depth of her devotion. Years were nothing when it seemed like they would be together forever.

Sighing, Pearl grabbed her phone for the seventh time that hour and gripped it. Would calling her again make Rose angry or annoyed? It had been the fourth call this week and it was only Wednesday. Pearl bit her lip and unlocked her phone. She had half the mind to just not care about the possibility of repercussion. Calling showed Rose how great of a girlfriend she was. She was attentive and called her all the time (even if that didn't stop the growing space). But still, maybe this time would be different. And plus she had an excuse. They hadn't finished making their weekend plans.

She dialed Rose's number and waited, phone gripped tightly in her hand.

"Hello?"

"Rose, hey. How has your day been?"

Rose sighed. "Pearl, look, I know we live in different cities but calling everyday, sometimes more than once a day, and texting me all the time has got to stop. We're not monogamous. I have other people I'm seeing and I can't give you all of my time and energy."

Pearl's eyes widened with each word. They weren't new, but the implications finally hit Pearl.

"Does this mean that I'm not number one?" Please say that she still was. Please say that no one else came before her.

Rose sighed again, this one longer and louder. Pearl could practically see her closing her eyes, hand sliding into her hair with frustration. "Why do you keep thinking that being poly involves monogamous elements? It doesn't. There is no such thing as a primary in my relationships. I love you, I might love someone else. This does not mean that one love or relationship is better than the other."

"Do you love someone else?" The words came out a lot calmer than she felt.

"No, but I'm starting to. But that's not the point."

"What is the point then? Are you not satisfied with how our relation - ?"

"Are you even listening?!" Pearl could imagine Rose's face twisted up, eyebrows knotted, phone clenched in her hands. Rose hadn't raised her voice like this in a while.

"I am! You know I always listen - "

"No you don't." Another sigh. "Look Pearl, our relationship has issues. Big ones. Ones that I don't think we can just kiss and makeup on. We need to talk, take space, hell, maybe even see a couple's counselor. But what we don't need is for you to keep pushing in one direction when we aren't even on the same page on which direction we should take."

All Pearl could hear was that Rose wanted space. She felt helpless again. Could she fix their relationship? The task seemed daunting and scary. Where would she even begin?

"What do you suggest we do then?" Pearl just wanted everything to go back to how they were before Rose asked her if they could see other people. Things were simpler then. Pearl was the only one in Rose's life.

"We need space. Something more casual because I don't have the energy for our relationship to be this intense."

"Fine." Pearl could feel the tears burning at the edges of her eyes. Space always meant the beginning of the end. Maybe there wasn't hope?

"Don't be like that, Pearl. This doesn't mean we don't have the same feelings for each other. It just means we're putting less energy into the relationship."

That didn't make her feel better. People fell out of love all the time. How would less time and energy help? If they had "big problems," wouldn't it take more energy to solve them? Less time and energy in a relationship never ended well. Marriages, friendship - you name it. How could Rose not see it? The same thing had happened to both Rose and Pearl's parents. Lack of passion, lack of time for each other, then the resentment sets in, and goodbye relationship.

Pearl didn't notice the tears until one landed on her chest.

"I'm sorry I'll try to do better. If space is what you need, I'll give it to you." Pearl would give Rose whatever she needed no matter what.

There was a long pause before Rose said, "I love you."

Pearl smiled, trying to squash the bitterness down. "I love you too."

* * *

 

There was something growing inside of Pearl. She couldn't tell what this feeling was, but it only fueled her bitterness.

Greg; that was his name. That was the man who Rose talked about frequently. It's hard to tell Rose no, or that she didn't want to hear it. So she listened and it festered and she ached and ached.

Pearl's friends turn out to be not her friends after all. She's distanced herself from everything and everyone and nobody has texted her once. It showed her that she was doing all of the work. She was the only reason they hung out at all. Why was it always her that had to text them? The one that had to do all of the emotional work? She wondered frequently if Rose would disappear from her life if she stopped putting energy into their relationship: everyone vanished when she didn't try.

Two weeks went by. Rose had asked for space and Pearl had given it to her. This will be the first weekend Pearl visits and Greg will be there. They're going to a house show. It was Greg's idea apparently. Pearl is only staying one night instead of the entire weekend. To give Rose space apart. She wondered if she should go at all. But then she remembered that she'll get to see Rose and suddenly she can't wait.

The realization that their love was nowhere near perfect hit her hard. The illusion was shattered. Ignorance was bliss after all.

They all meet at a restaurant first before they go to the house show. Greg wasn't as villainous as Pearl liked to imagine. He was awkward, but cool in his own way. He's in a band and will be playing at the show they're going to. This was news to her. Pearl wished Rose would tell her more. She didn't vocalize that though and they have dinner at a pizza place. Rose and Greg have chemistry and all of them laugh a lot. Rose and Greg even have inside jokes that they fill her in on. If Pearl wasn't who she was, she would be enjoying herself, but only jealousy and hopelessness settle in the pit of her stomach.

They drive separately to the house show and Pearl griped her steering wheel so tight her hands hurt when she separated them from the wheel and got out of the car.

"It doesn't look like many people are here," Pearl said, wondering if there will at least be other people to distract her from Rose and Greg.

Greg chuckled. "People always come to these things an hour or two late. Weird, I know, but it's an unspoken rule."

Pearl nodded, forcing a smile. "I've never heard of anyone doing that before. I can already tell this is going to be an interesting night."

They had no idea did they? No idea that this probably wasn't a good idea. Why didn't Rose know this? They had been together for so long...

They made their way into the house. It was shabby. The white paint was coming off, the front porch dirty and filled with old furniture Pearl didn't want to even look at, let alone touch. There was a large banner above the doorway that said "Forest's hideaway." What that meant, Pearl had no idea. The inside didn't fare any better. A bunch of graffiti was on the walls and most of the rooms were bare except for some more dubious furniture. A few people inside lounged on the couches and some were standing drinking beers.

"When do you think the show will start?" Pearl asked.

Greg stopped and turned towards her. "Probably 20 to 30 minutes. Maybe more, it just depends." Pearl nodded. After an awkward pause, he said, "I'm going to find us some beers, just relax and I'll be right back."

Rose followed him and she was left alone.

Pearl did not fit in at all. Was she even dressed right for the occasion? Her outfit was more on the dressy side, a purple crop top with a velvet pencil skirt and black high heels. Everyone else was wearing regular everyday clothing.

Rose really should start telling her more.

The situation seemed surreal. She couldn't believe she was here. Couldn't believe that everything had happened as it had. She'd probably have to get used to it.

Deciding to explore the rest of the house, Pearl walked down the small hallway Rose and Greg took. There was a small room at the end of the hallway where another doorway was to the right and a kitchen to the left. A few people were in the kitchen, one of them cooking grilled cheese sandwiches, the others lounging around.

Pearl walked into the kitchen. There was another door to the basement where she guessed Greg and Rose were. There were four people in the room. Two of them had dyed hair - one pink and one purple. The others had black hair. They were all dressed similarly: simple, but cool. They looked like they had stepped out of the 90s. Pearl didn't think places like this existed anymore.

The girl with the purple hair looked up and gave her a large smile. "Hey!" she said as she flipped her sandwich. She was short and curvy, hair tied in a pony tail. "I haven't seen you around before."

"Well, ah," Pearl paused then said, "Yeah, I just found out about this place from someone I came with."

"Ah. Maybe I know them. Who are they?" The grilled cheese was done at this point and she turned off the stove, then put the grilled cheese on a plate. She grabbed the plate and sat on one of the wooden chairs around the table.

"Greg."

Everyone was looking at her. She wanted to curl in on herself.

"Oh yeah! I know the dude. I didn't know you were Greg's friend."

Pearl really wasn't Greg's friend, but she wouldn't correct her. Let everyone think she liked Greg. It'd fool Rose at least, and that was all that mattered.

The girl to the left, the one with pink hair and piercings said, "We didn't get your name."

"Oh! I'm Pearl." She went up to shake the other's hand. The girl stared at it for a second, then smirked and returned the handshake.

Greg and Rose came back upstairs not long after. "Show's about to start!" They then walked passed her, no doubt going to tell the others. Beers were in both of their hands. They hadn't gotten one for her.

"About time!" the purple-haired girl said before standing up.

"Oh, but I haven't gotten any of your names."

The purple-haired woman laughed. "Name's Amethyst."

The pink-haired girl shrugged. "I don't tell just anyone my name. You can call me Mystery for now."

Mystery? Pearl almost laughed. It sounded like a stripper's name. But she almost liked that she didn't know her real name. It was a taunt. 'Not just anyone can get my real name, so come and find out.'

"Okay, Mystery. Okay."

Mystery smirked.

There were more people in the kitchen now. They were all going down to the basement, including Rose and Greg who were talking animatedly to each other.

When Rose noticed her, she gave her a small wave. "Hey, you ready for the show?"

As ready as she'll ever be she guessed. "Yeah."

"Good, cause we're going to rock the socks off this place!" Greg said.

Rose smiled lovingly at Greg and it made Pearl want to puke. It was the same look Rose gave her sometimes, but this one was different. What did that mean?

They all went down and Pearl didn't know what she expected. Not this, that was for sure. The basement was filled with tons of lights all around the top of the walls. Art was everywhere. Some of it was weird - aliens smoking cigarettes, or even a girl choking a man with her long hair. Other pieces were just normal – fruit and flowers.

"Who drew all of this?" Pearl asked to no one in particular. Each piece was magnificent and they all looked like they came from the same artist.

"It was Vidalia. She lives down here whenever there aren't performances."

Pearl wondered if she was Mystery or even one of the other girls who were upstairs that she didn't talk to. That line of thought was cut off as Greg kissed Rose's cheek, then gave her a peck on the lips.

"Wish me luck," he said.

Pearl didn't know what she was supposed to feel. She felt pain, anger, confusion, but there was something else there. It was desperate, and scathing. And no matter how much she loved Rose, not even she could squash these feelings. Not how things were going now. Balling her fists, she intently stared off into space, trying not to burst.

Minutes flew by. The feeling was a mantra in her mind. A scorch that had no outlet. Rose had feelings for this person and they were sharing things that before only Pearl and her had ever shared. Was Pearl already secondary to Greg? Or was that just coming?

The music finally started after a long string of mic checks. She just wanted to leave. Rose came up from behind and put her head on her shoulder. The gesture left a stale taste in her mouth.

"You liking it here?"

No, but instead she said, "I don't know. It's different."

Rose wrapped her arms around Pearl and pecked her on the cheek. Was this to make up for Greg? Was this genuine affection? Pearl wondered if Rose really loved her.

"I'm so happy you came," Rose said. It sounded genuine. But then again, maybe her perception was skewed like everything else in her life right now.

As Greg's band played, Rose tapped her foot and moved to the beat. The music just put her on edge. Almost every song was a sappy love ballad and his eyes were always on Rose.

Pearl needed to separate herself from this situation. "I'm going to get some fresh air," Pearl said more calmly than she felt.

"Okay," Rose said with a smile, then turned back to Greg.

It's weird seeing someone you love, falling in love with someone else right in front of you. Pearl purged it from her mind. Think about something else, anything else, she told herself. At least until she was able to get outside.

Pearl hurried outside, not paying attention to anything else. All she needed to do was go outside: get away from the muddle of feelings she was feeling.

The porch was empty thank goodness. And she reluctantly sat on the dirty couch, hopeful she didn't catch anything from it. Times like these made it hard to think about things other than the dark hole she was in.

She dropped her defenses. The tears came not long after that.

Pearl was going to lose Rose. After her parents had died, Rose came into her life, giving her the comfort and love she needed. Pearl thought Rose was going to be the one person that would never leave. And maybe she wouldn't leave Pearl. Maybe everything would just change. Still, change could be bad. All Pearl wanted to do was love and be loved. To be number one in Rose's life.

"Are you okay?"

Pearl looked sideways at Mystery staring at her, eyebrows drawn, lips tightly shut.

Should she tell her the truth? Pearl had the sudden urge to. What did she have to lose anyways? She'd probably never see Mystery after tonight. She didn't have many confidants and she sure as hell wasn't going to tell Rose about her feelings. Rose would no doubt leave her if she did. And she'd do everything in her power to stop that.

"Not really," Pearl said, voice scratchy. She sniffled and wiped her tears. How pathetic she must look. Again, it comforted her that this would probably be the last time she saw Mystery. Not knowing her name intrigued Pearl, but she knew better than to keep coming to these things with Rose and Greg.

"I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. Do you want to talk about it?"

A pause. Then, almost reluctantly, Pearl said, "Just girl trouble. I'm dating this girl who's falling in love with a guy." Pearl laughed bitterly. "We're poly."

Mystery whistled. "That's rough. I've been in similar situations before. How are you going to deal with it?"

Pearl honestly didn't know. Though something was forming in her mind. Something that she would no doubt regret.

Mystery sat down next to her, and from this distance, she looked a bit like Rose.

"I don't know."

Pearl turned away from her and stared at her fists balled up in her lap. Tears welled up in her eyes again and she watched as they landed on her fists and rolled off.

Mystery put her hand on Pearl's. "It'll be alright. Not knowing is not the end of the world. You'll know what to do soon I bet."

She wasn't so sure, but the words were strangely reassuring. "Thank you." She unfurled her fists and held Mystery's hand. "I really appreciate this."

"It's no problem. Say, do you smoke?"

Pearl looked up. "No, I don't smoke. I hate the smell of cigarettes."

Mystery smirked. "I don't smoke cigarettes either." At Pearl's blank stare, Mystery rolled her eyes. "Weed, marijuana. You have of heard of it, haven't you?"

Oh! That's what she meant. She had never tried it before, nor had she ever wanted to. But maybe, just maybe it would help her forget. Not that she knew much about weed, but there had to be some reason people did it. It was better than booze she supposed. And there was less of a chance of getting addicted.

"Yeah I've heard of it. Wait - are we going to smoke it here?" While she was all for taking risks sometimes, she didn't want to get arrested for weed. That was not going on her records.

Mystery rolled her eyes. "Nothing would happen if we did. Everyone does it out back."

That sure as hell didn't mean she would do it. "Is there anywhere more secluded?"

"Fine. We could go to my place. It's down the road anyways."

Pearl's eyes widened. Going to Mystery's place? Was that a good idea? What would Rose think? No. She stopped that line of thought in its tracks. This wasn't about Rose and if she felt jealous, oh well. Maybe she would understand how much her dating Greg hurt her.

That thing brewing in her mind came back, not merely a ghost of a whisper, but a fully fleshed thought this time. If Pearl start seeing other people, maybe Rose would see. Not to mention, she'd be getting something out of it too. Maybe it would help her get over her negative feelings towards Rose; help her cope when she knew she was so close to breaking beyond repair. Mystery was attractive and what little interaction they had was soothing and comforting - something she hadn't had since the beginning of these feelings. Yes, she told herself. This could only be good for her.

Pearl smiled. "Lead the way."

And off they went. Mystery lead her to her moped and she hopped on the back. As she held onto Mystery, Pearl put her face on her back and smiled.

This would only lead to good things, she was sure.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you [Vorazlov28](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2534613/) for betaing. :)

Mystery's house was small and bright yellow. The lawn was overgrown and the house's paint was peeling. Would the inside be just as neglected? Pearl hoped not. But even if it was, she doubted it could be worse than the previous house.

"Welcome to my humble abode," Mystery said as she got off her moped and Pearl did the same. Mystery kicked down her moped's kickstand, then both of them went up to her house.

The inside was not what she expected at all. There was no furniture, and plants and books were everywhere. Four big cushions sat in the center of the floor in the living room. Art littered the wall: floral prints with an edge and political posters for a variety of different causes.

"I like your place - it's very quaint."

Mystery laughed. "No one has ever called my place quant before. I'm glad you think so."

Pearl smiled. So far, she really liked Mystery. Maybe it wasn't right to do this, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Not after feeling so torrid, so ready to explode. She wanted those feelings gone, and most of all, she wanted Rose to say that she wanted monogamy. After that, everything would be fine. Everything would go back to normal: how it should be.

"Should I take my shoes off?"

"If you want, I'm cool with whatever. I'm gonna go get us the shit; then we can smoke." Mystery took off her shoes and Pearl did the same. "Make yourself at home."

Pearl decided to sit down on one of the cushions and text Rose that she was at a girl's house and might not be back tonight. She made sure to make it as suggestive as possible without being explicit. Rose would get the message. Hopefully, she would latch onto the bait. Pearl couldn't take the idea that Rose wouldn't care. The thought made her heart constrict. That wasn't the case, she was sure. Rose loved her still - she knew it.

Mystery came in with a wooden box, and Pearl turned off her phone, almost disappointed that Rose didn't text her back right away. It was probably best to let the implications sink in anyways.

Mystery sat down on the cushion right across from her. "I don't have much left, but I'll be able to pack a bowl or two."

Pearl had no idea what she meant, but she guessed she'd find out. Mystery took out a bag of weed and a handpipe. Pearl watched her break up the weed and put it in. The motion was hypnotizing and soothing; hopefully the weed would be the same.

Mystery handed the handpipe to Pearl. "You get the honorary first hit. All you need to do is hold the hole at the side and light it. Take a breath, let it out then let go of the side and breathe in the remaining smoke."

Pearl nodded, hoping that she didn't mess this up. The last thing she wanted to do was look stupid. She breathed in deeply, then promptly coughed. Her throat burned.

"Try to steady your breathing and I'll get you a glass of water."

Pearl covered her mouth, unable to stop coughing. This was just embarrassing. She probably looked like such a novice. If Pearl wasn't coughing so much, she would have bopped herself on the head in embarrassment.

"Here," Mystery said as she gave her the glass of water. Pearl immediately took a deep breath and drank. Not long after that, her breathing settled.

"Thanks," Pearl said, voice raspy.

"No prob." Mystery took the pipe from her hand before lighting it up and taking a few puffs. Mystery made it look so easy. Was it supposed to be that easy? Pearl felt her face heat, and something drop in her stomach. What if Mystery thought she was lame? Thought that she couldn't even smoke right?

She passed it back to Pearl and she tried it again, only to cough some more. Mystery didn't look like she was judging. Her expression was calm and open, small smile brightening her face. Pearl was probably overthinking it.

They passed the pipe several times and Pearl wondered what she should be feeling. She felt the same, only a bit more anxious about keeping Mystery entertained. Normally she never opened up to strangers, but this was different.

"So what do you do?" Pearl asked, not sure what else to talk about.

"So much. I like to smoke weed, long walks on the beach - you know all that mumbo jumbo."

Pearl rolled her eyes. "Lovely. But you know what I mean: do you go to college, work, none of the above?"

Mystery shrugged. "I guess it's complicated. But I honestly don't want to talk about it. Too much to think about right now, if you catch my drift."

Pearl wanted to press her. Figure out everything about her, but she guessed they did just meet each other. It was odd. Only half an hour had passed, maybe less, and they were smoking weed together. This was so weird for her, but maybe it was time for her to stop being so predictable. Maybe that was another thing that had drew Rose to Greg: he was everything Pearl was not. Maybe she should start acting more out of character.

Pearl had gotten a hang of smoking by this point, trying to smoke as much as possible at each turn. She wanted to feel high, but she felt depressingly sober.

"This stuff is strong, so be careful. But then again, this is your first time so maybe it won't hit you."

Pearl hoped it would. She wanted to get high so badly it hurt. Wanted to kiss Mystery so hard the pain would go away. Pearl needed something.

Not long after that, it hit her. It was small at first and she kept smoking greedily, hoping that she could feel something better than what she felt. By the time they finished the second bowl, there were phantom touches all over her body and the world appeared as if she were in a movie.

"Oh my god."

So this was what it felt like to be high. Pearl laughed. "I can't believe this is what being high is. Did you know that it was this great?!"

Mystery smirked, eyes half-lidded. "Yeah, it's fantastic. One of the reasons why I always do it."

She was so beautiful, Pearl noticed. Even more so with her new perception. It was like the world opened up and she was finally thinking as it was meant to be. Everything was so beautiful, and all she wanted to do was feel Mystery's energy.

"Can I touch you?" Pearl asked, then giggled. She couldn't believe she just said that. So unlike herself. Rose would probably love her like this.

She shook her head, trying not to go down the rabbit hole her feelings for Rose would cause. This felt great. Right here, right now. Pearl wanted to focus on things that would make her grow like a butterfly. The image of herself as a butterfly made her crack up, laughing so loud and obnoxiously that even high, she felt it was completely unnecessary. She looked over at Mystery, surprised she didn't find judgemental eyes, but amused ones. Even so, that didn't keep herself from blushing.

"If you want. It's hard for me to say no to a cutie like you."

The words made her blush even harder. This was for real. Pearl crawled over to where Mystery was and embraced her. The phantom touches only grew more intense with her touching the other. It was almost like Mystery's energy was transferring to her. She liked this feeling. She liked it a lot.

"You're so warm and soft. Like a body pillow." The thought made her giggle. What an odd thing to think of at a time like this. She had never owned one or thought about them before.

Mystery chuckled. "We're so high." Mystery tightened her hold around Pearl and flipped them over, Mystery on top.

Pearl giggled. That sensation was so funny and she didn't know why. Their faces were so close to each other's now. Mystery's breath fanned over her face. Mint. She wondered if her kisses would taste of mint too.

"Can I kiss you?" Pearl asked, in awe of everything. This was the most beautiful the world had looked in a long time and it was all thanks to this beautiful person.

Mystery answered her by pressing their lips together. Her lips were soft like Rose's, but plumper and a different kind of sweet. The thought left her mind when Mystery deepened the kiss, biting her lip, hand going to the back of her head almost roughly.

With each touch, each brush of her tongue, Pearl couldn't stop thinking of Rose. There was no pain, but still. It almost didn't seem fair, but who was she to say what was fair? Pearl wanted to use this girl and there was nothing right or fair about it. She willed her mind to shut up and leaned into the kiss, hoping that if she felt nothing but Mystery, that maybe everything else would go away.

Of course it didn't. But the fantasy was nice. Mystery's body felt great and if she's being honest with herself, she's a better kisser than Rose. Kissing while high makes the kiss feel muddled, but more intense at the same time. She wondered what sex would feel like high, but even now she could feel exhaustion overcome her.

Pearl separated them, both with ragged breath and a slight flush.

"You're pretty cute like this," Mystery said.

"Like what?" Pearl felt her face flush even more. She hadn't blushed like this in a while. Not since Rose had stopped being overly romantic. Did she act that way towards Greg now? Even with the high, it didn't take long for those thoughts to overwhelm her.

"So thoroughly kissed. I should do it more often."

Even with the internal battle raging inside of her, what Mystery said made it feel less painful. This girl loved the way she looked, liked her. There was no one else shadowing everything they did. It was just them. She missed this so much. The relief almost made her cry. She didn't. Instead she smiled and pecked the other's lips.

"I'm looking forward to it." A pause, then Pearl asked, "I'm kinda tired, do you mind if I go to sleep?"

"Feel free. I'll be gone in the morning, so feel free to let yourself out."

Pearl nodded, eyelids growing heavy.

"Thanks." Pearl offered a sleepy smile.

Mystery left and came back with a blanket. She didn't sleep next to Pearl that night and it was a relief. Not long after, she fell asleep. The high made the process a lot easier and she was grateful, oh so grateful.

* * *

 

The next morning, Pearl woke up to an empty house, feeling just as empty. A note lie next to her on the floor:

 _Last night was great. My number in case you wanted to talk some more._ On the bottom of the page was a number she presumed to be Mystery's.

Pearl pocketed the note and looked at her phone. There's five messages and Pearl smiled larger than she had in awhile.

They're all from Rose.

_"Who did you go with?"_

_"Pearl, the show's done. You sure you don't want me to pick you up now?"_

_"At least tell me where you are. I want to make sure you're alright."_

_"Pearl?"_

_"PEARL!"_

It's funny. Rose sounded so flustered through her text messages. She liked this. Liked how much this showed that Rose cared.

Pearl called and Rose answered almost right away.

"Pearl! Are you okay? Where are you at? When I didn't hear from you I thought the worst."

"Sorry for worrying you. I'm on my way to your place."

A pause. Then, "Fine. See you when you get here." Rose did not sound pleased. Good. Maybe now she'd understand how Pearl always felt. Rose hung up and Pearl found herself staring at her phone for a couple of minutes, smile playing on her lips.

Pearl didn't know how things would play out, but she knew that she'd keep talking to Mystery. In fact - Pearl opened up her messaging app and texted Mystery her number.

This was only the beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated. :)
> 
>  
> 
> [Tumblr](http://rowynsn.tumblr.com/)


End file.
